


I am my Monster Alternate take

by Ghostwriter2356



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Episode: s06e19 I Am My Monster, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-16
Updated: 2020-05-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:01:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24223222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ghostwriter2356/pseuds/Ghostwriter2356
Summary: While everyone is helping steven calm down. Steven is dealing with his own struggle internally.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 25





	I am my Monster Alternate take

**Author's Note:**

> i want to start by saying i despise how the show ended. It was rushed, lazy , poorly done and ignored many plot points that were setup in the original series, the movie and beginning of the future. So i am writing a 1 shot alternate take of these events to expand and improve what i consider a cluster fuck of a ending.

Steven universe saviour of the galaxy currently terror of beach city. Emotionally unstable he believed he truly was a monster and as a result he became one. Currently being held by his friends and family they all are reassuring him how much he matters. The last thing he hears and sees is his best friend Connie landing on his face. Her last words to him being "i know i dont have powers like you but" before kissing him. Except unbenotes to everyone there was an internal struggle happening. The raging monster does not falter pushing everyone off of him. He continues to move towards beach city as the gang think of a new plan. Internally Steven is confronting himself.

In the vast void of his mind, Scape played Steve on the ground crying. Whispering to himself. 

"I am a monster. Get away please. I'll only hurt you. Its all i know…" 

he continued to sob there in this dark void before a pink glow shined to him. Steven feeling this light raises his head. And through the tears he sees the source of this glow. His pupils dilate smaller. In a low voice he speaks. 

"Its you…". 

Standing before steven was steven. Pink steven to be exact his gem half. Staring blankly at him he just stood there emotionless. Steven slowly got up from the ground staring back at himself.

"This is your fault." 

he said in a low voice, a spark of furry behind it. Pink steven looked at him still not responding at all. 

"This is your fault. Because of you and your new powers I couldn't control it and I let myself to enjoy it. I-i shattered jasper. Because of you." 

He shouted. Still quiet pink steven started. 

"Well? SAY SOMETHING" he spatted to himself. Pink Steven looked blankly before speaking. 

"You are safe now. We won't be hurt now. We won't feel pain again." 

His tone void of expression or emotion. Steven looked in confusion. 

"What do you mean we are safe?" He asked. 

"We were in danger. Returning powers were used to protect self. Powers were not enough. Transformation was required." 

Stevens eyes filled with furry. "Are you telling me we changed in to this to be safe. I know I'm a monster but that doesn't mean we should be- like this" he gestured. "And now we are hurting everyone we care about." 

Pink steven didn't change in stature or tone. "They are irrelevant. They harmed us. We must be safe." 

Steven looked at himself in confusion, disgust and anger. "No… no no this isn't right. They care about us. They do so much for us. And we are the ones who hurt them. We are the ones hurting them now!" Steven held onto his chest, lowing his head, filling himself with guilt. This guilt was felt by pink steven. 

"They hurt us. Each one using us for their own motives. Each one hurts us. We could not push away. They must be eliminated. Or we must escape. Transformation allows the highest success rate." Pink Steven was precise and calculated with his words. 

His attempts to justify these actions fell on deaf ears. "How is this being safe we- were just proved how horrible we are. I… never wanted to hurt anyone…" tears started to fall from Steven's face as he held tighter to his chest. "But… you don't care. You never cared. You always hurt people. When we were split you were ok with hurting everyone. Our friends and family… and we both know how much you hurt people when you were mom ``Steven looked at him with anger in his eyes. "It's like I said in home world. I don't want to be like you. I don't want to be a diamond." 

Pink Steven looked at him. He tilted his head slightly, almost curious and confusioned. "I do not understand.." 

Stevens' anger filled him more. "What? WHAT DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND!" he shouted. 

Pink Steven with his cold blank stare answered. "I do not understand. You say you do not want to be like me. But you are me as I am you. We are the same." 

Steven stomped his feet in retaliation. "NO WE ARE NOT THE SAME!" 

pink steven not responding to the aggression continued to be emotionless. "I can do any of this without you… I can not feel our pain without you. I respond to what you feel. We are hurting. I want the pain to… stop." Pink stevens last words sparked what seemed to be sadness. "I do what i do based on what we have experienced. I do not want to hurt anymore." 

Steven looked calming himself listening carefully to what his gem is saying. "This is both of our faults isn't it…" he said low in a sad tone.

In that moment in this void of the mind everyone's message appeared. The diamonds, spinel, garnet, amethyst, pearl, greg, lapis, peridot, bismuth, and connie. All trying to reach to steven. He sees them and sees how he continues to push them away. 

"No…" he turns to his pink self. "We can stop this. They want to help."

Pink steven did not change in stature. "They will hurt us. I can not stop this." 

Steven looked at him with concern he walked towards his pink self until he was in arm's length. He reached out offering him a hand. "We don't know if they'll hurt us again. But we do know that they will try not to. I know you- we can stop this." 

Pink Steven looked at his hand before looking back at steven. "I do not want us to be hurt again." 

Steven made a sympathetic smile to himself. "I know we don't. But part of having loved ones is getting hurt. The important part though is to learn to heal and grow from that pain. I guess i forgot about that for myself. So please at least let them try." 

Pink Steven looked at him contemplating Steven's words. He reached out holding his hand being filled with emotion. He put a smile with tears in the corner of his eyes. "Ok they can try. WE can try." 

In that moment Steven pulled his pink self into a hug as the void fell apart and their bodies became a white light. The next thing Steven wakes to is all his friends and family right there ready by his side.


End file.
